by Wendy Ford
Before this article is misunderstood it needs to be clarified it was written from an extremely narrow point of focus. It should not be construed this writer is ignorant of the crucial role relationships, interactions and genuine communication with “others” plays. But some are so narrowly focused on themselves they cannot, or do not, take into consideration any but themselves. It is equally true there are some who are so focused on others they fail to take the steps of looking inward. This article focuses on the inward journey and introspection required that can lead to being able to genuinely communicate with the many layers of ourselves that in turn will assist in our quest for genuine communication with and love of others.
Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Bet you forgot to write a love letter to the most important person of all: YOU. Sounds like the epitome of egocentricity, yet when a moment is taken to really think about it, You are all you have. Your body with its organs, your container, is merely a physical vehicle through which the Life Power expresses and experiences itself as You. It can be stunning, even overwhelming, to think about in those terms. To consciously become aware, to come to know this, can take years.
What more appropriate time to write a love letter to the expression of You than on the day when the Universe’s heart takes a beat? That’s what Valentine’s Day really is. Historically it has been linked to the day to express friendship. (http://grove.ufl.edu/~leo/val.html)
Thanks to the sophistry-based philosophical foundation of business in the United States, Valentine’s Day has become imbued with an economically based significance and import of epic proportions. The commercial world wants one to believe that extreme guilt and anxiety should be experienced if one doesn’t go into debt over the day; unless expensive jewelry, candy, cards, dinner and flowers are lavished upon your love you will be thought to be a loser. The true meaning of the day has long since been lost to modern society.
Back to that love letter. You are comprised of many layers and levels, and each needs to be able to have open and unobstructed communication with the others. Sometimes we are aware of a communication but most of it takes place on the sub conscious level. It takes training and work to become consciously aware of the subtle communications.
Every one of us has had the experience of having an argument or discussion apparently with oneself. That is usually indicative of one part of the psyche attempting to communicate and come to an agreement with another. Only in the most highly trained individuals is it ever a direct communication with Soul, even more rarely with Spirit and it IS NEVER GOD TALKING TO YOU. Most commonly one’s attention is drawn to times when a decision needed to be made about some action or comment. The “discussion” might have gone something like this:
“I really don’t want to do that. But it’s the right thing to do. I know but I really don’t want to do that because I might end up looking like a fool. Would you rather look the fool or take a chance and have something great come of it? I don’t know. If I do it then I have to really commit to it (whatever “it” is). Yes, and by committing to it there will be a cost. I know, but I’m not sure if I’m willing to put myself out a limb like that. Why not? Because I did something like that when I was in second grade and ended up being really humiliated and I don’t ever want that to happen again. Oh, that’s right. Guess you are correct. That felt awful and we don’t want to go through that again. Never mind.”
This self-talk is what Dr. Strickler calls “the Babbler”, that never ceasing internal voice that yammers on and on seemingly without rest about the most inane of subjects, asking questions, answering questions, sometimes even contradicting itself, providing a running commentary about the most trivial of things, giving advice whether solicited or not, jumping from topic to topic without thought or contemplation. Training and practice in immersing oneself into the flow of the Meditation of the Source will result in the silencing of the Babbler enabling the clearing of the communication lines between You and the various areas of your psyche.
Writing a love letter to yourself can kick start the process. Use a writing instrument and a physical piece of paper, not a computer keyboard. The physical act of putting words on paper establishes a connection and starts the communication flowing. Ignore the quality of the handwriting. Write your thoughts down. Don’t try to edit as you go that will interrupt the flow between mind and paper. No one else should ever see this letter; it is for your eyes only.
Now you sit with a blank piece of paper and a writing instrument in hand thoughtfully pondering the task. If you’ve never done this sort of thing before you might just be fidgeting and staring at a blank piece of paper thinking, “where do I start? This seems pretty silly, what if I look like a fool?” Is there anyone who can honestly say they have NEVER looked or felt silly or like a fool? This is just you and You communicating. If you can’t talk to You then there is really a major problem.
Start out with whatever salutation you wish. Sit quietly for a moment. Put down several topic areas such as What I like about Us, The Things I Love about Us, We like spending time together because… No negative headers. As ideas occur to you put them under some kind of category. The term “Us” was used intentionally. There are many parts and levels of YOU. You are made up of many identities, i.e. Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Father, Husband, Brother, Son. Add to the mix all the functions you perform, i.e. chauffeur, housekeeper, cook, accountant, coach, tutor, referee, healer, advisor, then add in any professional or job related titles or descriptions and You are a conglomerate. You are your own corporation.
Then there are the levels from which You operate: the physical expression of You operating within the physical container of your body, and the Etheric, Astral, Soul and Spirit levels of You each with their own levels. With all the identities, functions and descriptions all operating from simultaneous levels, you are your own AT&T. And this is only on the internal side. Now add to this all the types of communication and input being fed into your circuit boards from the outside, from your physical senses. Is it any wonder we all suffer from internal communication breakdown of unanswered ring tones, busy signals, interrupted or dropped calls, crossed wires or short circuits from time to time?
The physical act of sitting still and putting pen to paper quiets and turns down our attention to much of the internal and external cacophony. Most of us have been trained from early on that it is not a good thing to be boastful or brag about ourselves. So writing a love letter to You may seem quite daunting, egotistical or even wrong. It is not being a braggart or boastful when an inward search is being conducted. So many of us have such a difficult time acknowledging even to ourselves what we are really good at or areas where we shine.
Self-deprecation has been instilled from our earliest memories. To act with modesty and humbleness are virtues to be sure when interacting with others socially. Few of us have ever been taught how to go about conducting our genuine personal and inner inventory. Without an inward looking and searching, it is impossible to discover who we really are. This inner inventory should be a continual process of discovery leading to identification of strengths as well as weaknesses.
It is from within this inner sanctum of You that you develop the courage to first acknowledge that there are some things you may have been or are wrong or mistaken about and then, through further work, discover they resulted from an erroneous perspective or error of interpretation. It is only from within your inner Fortress of Solitude that you will uncover the errors, discover the truths and develop the courage to acknowledge even to yourself, “I was wrong” or “I may have been wrong about that. In light of new information I may need to rethink my position or opinion of belief.”
If attempting to put thoughts into words on paper becomes too frustrating just walk away and come back later. Your subconscious has been given the task and is already working on it. When you come back, set a timer for 5 minutes. Your ego can generally handle short periods of contemplation, reflection and examination more easily than an open-ended amount of time. This will tend to head off the ego’s response of “oh my gosh this is going to take forever and I really don’t want to be doing this and I might get called out or found out and I really don’t want You to find out the truth about an illusion or erroneous belief or bias because then I might have to change and I am perfectly happy being in charge of You and dictating how You think and feel and if You really knew how things are I might have to relinquish some of my control to You and then where would I be?” Don’t worry about spelling or editing, don’t worry about grammar or syntax or even if it is making complete sense. Just let it flow onto the paper. It might be surprising what comes out.
When you are done, read it out loud. Putting physical vocalizations to your words is valuable. We’ve all had the experience of thinking something in our head then saying it out loud realizing “it sure didn’t sound like that in my head. That isn’t what I mean to say at all.” Your letter will have the same effect.
Be prepared for the unexpected. Don’t be too surprised if the writing triggers some strong emotional responses. Pockets of emotions, both positive and negative can be hidden and lie festering under the surface until we poke them a bit and shine the light of the quest or truth upon them. Don’t shy away or look away. Allow yourself to acknowledge, face and examine those emotions. Give those emotions the chance to express themselves. Feel them, experience them, and then let go of them with a silent thanks to You for bringing them to your attention.
Have an extra sheet of paper nearby to jot down questions or topics you want to further look in to or research. Your writing might trigger questions or areas you may need to address with friends or family members. If you are giving yourself the gift of self exploration through the aide of a doctoral level psychologist trained in EMDR techniques this can serve as a source for signposts the two of you may need to address. http://www.emdr.com/
It is important to date your letter and keep it secreted away to be pulled out on occasion. Pull it out every year and re read it, read it again out loud. As the letters grow in number over the years notice your growth and development. If you don’t see any changes ask “why not?”
Your Love Letter to You can serve as a homing beacon for your Soul. Your Soul is continually attempting to make the contact with You, the differentiated portion of Itself. The Soul has lessons it needs to learn and purposes that need to be served. The only way the Soul can learn, resolve, grow and evolve is through physical experience. Your letter can serve as a bridge, as an opening through which the vertical communication of the Soul can be “heard” or received by its lower vehicle of expression, You.
Through the writing of your Love Letter you can start your journey and process in opening the lines of communication with the many other levels of You. We all know the multitude and complexity of problems mundane miscommunications can cause. The quality and clarity of our internal communications is even more critical.
So give it a go. See what you experience when you write the Ultimate Love Letter. – Wendy Ford
Copyright © 2015 by Institute of Spiritual Climate LLC